The Pool *UNFINISHED*

My body reacted strongly to the smell of chlorine and the echoey sounds of children splashing in the water. I had avoided the pool for some years, after the incident. And I had expected a reaction, but not this one. My shoulders slumped down from their perpetual tension and it seemed as if my whole mind opened wide, just like after an hour of meditation. 

I headed for the locker room, and the relaxation deepened, reached my neck, my jaw. Why had I stayed away for so long? I knew why, but still. 

Most lockers were taken, and even those without locks had clothes in them. How people can be trusting… 

I stripped and quickly stored away my jeans, t-shirt, shoes and socks. It made me smile to think how I used to be embarrassed to be naked in public. Now I couldn't care less and even took a bit more time than I needed to put on my swimsuit. 

The showers were exactly as I remembered them, the yellow ceramic tiles glistening from the constant spray. A man and his soapy five year old laughed together. An older man finished and let me come through. 

"All yours."

As always in these situations, it surprised me that other people could actually see me. 

"Thanks," I called, a few seconds too late. 

The water was lukewarm. Not too cold to be unpleasant and also not warm enough to be enjoyable. I rinsed myself quickly and hurried to the door leading to the pool. 

The bay windows let in the oblique rays of the October sun. The light hit the water and made the blue sparkle. Two boys raced each other to the slide. A whistle blew. A bored voice told the boys to walk. A girl squealed as she jumped three times on the spring board and launched over the water, laughing. Behind me, a middle-aged man came out of the sauna, his wide chest red and steaming. In the pool, a group of ageing women chatted, their heads bobbing over the water as they went through the motions of some underwater exercise.

All was good. 

I dove in the fast lane, embracing the slight discomfort that came with the initial shock. Immediately, I arranged my goggles over my eyes and started swimming quickly. To get the blood going. I was out of shape, but it didn't matter. It felt good. Inches from the wall, I flipped and kicked hard, changing direction. Wave after wave coursed through my body until I had to breathe again and resume my methodic crawl.